and I’m sitting around talking to a guy that’s on the other side of the country. We never even have anything to talk about anymore and that worries me. Today’s his birthday, I wish he wanted to talk to me on his birthday but at the same time I think it’s good that he’s doing stuff I know it must be hard enough to be away from family and stationed somewhere on your birthday when you only have 3 months left in the army.

Today isn’t that great of a day but tomorrow has to be good, I can’t sit around wishing he was home. 

Not dating or in a relationship instead I am waiting 4 more months for a guy that’s on the other side of the country that I haven’t even met in person. I want more of a commitment that he’s not going anywhere, I feel like I’m giving up a lot. Then I feel guilty for thinking that because I know he is too and maybe he doesn’t want a relationship with someone far away while he’s counting down the days until he comes home. I feel bad when I complain to him about work because I know he doesn’t like his job either and his is worse because it’s keeping him from his family. He asked me to buy a bible and I did. I’m not going to suddenly become religious but I would like to learn a little bit about what he’s always talking about so that I can talk to him about something that’s important to him. I want the next 4 months to go by fast so I can know whether or not this is going to work and end the way I want it to. Either way I really really like a soilder in the U.S army and I will wait, I have a good feeling about this one.